Embracing the Art of Aging Gracefully

I consider myself lucky in many respects. I have a great family, wonderful kids, a loving wife, and have had a long career in teaching, all of which I am proud of. I’ve been fortunate in that I have experienced what it’s like to love and be loved, what it’s like to laugh and be truly vulnerable, and what it’s like to experience emotional pain and trauma. The best is that I have been able to share all of these experiences with the ones I hold dear to me.

I don’t want to make it seem like my life is like some episode of The Brady Bunch, where every day ends up full of laughter and hugs with the sun setting gleefully in the background. While I welcome those kinds of endings to the day, life just isn’t like that. However, life does seem more like that when I am able to create a perspective of gratefulness. The more I do this, the more often these experiences stay in the forefront of my days.

Here’s the problem…life throws us an undesirable number of curveballs, which I like to think serves the purpose of keeping us humble.

Sure, I can get as pessimistic as the next guy, mumbling to myself all the ways in which I suck. But the key is that I am working to try and limit those self destructive messages as I age. I don’t know why, maybe it is age, but I’m to a point where I’ve experienced the richness a more positive and grateful attitude can bring.

A few years back, I was able to recognize the “rut” and doldrums my life had fallen into. Things were just boring. Yea, I went to my kids’ stuff…yea, I got up every day and went to work…yea, I woke up every morning with a roof over my head. But nothing brought me energy, fed the tank, or revved my engines. So, I decided to change some of my habits.

I don’t consider myself an expert in anything, so it is weird to even think of passing on advice to anyone. But I do love reading and listening to other peoples’ experiences in order to better my own self. And it is here where I took advice and decided to change my habits. These lifestyle habit adoptions helped me to change my perspective of all that I do, and I would love to pass them on. Here goes…

1. Meditation. A buddy of mine, Eric, listened to my tales of woe and whining, which he and I are more than happy to point out to each other when it happens, and asked if I meditated. My response was “no,” followed by the classic lazy man’s explanation of not knowing how. I figured that was something only monks and rich people who could afford retreats with them did. Eric replied with a regular and deserved “you’re a dumbass” look. He then told me about a certain meditation app that would impact my life for the better. He shared his positive experience with it, and I found myself envious. So, I committed to it. I downloaded the app, paid the year long subscription, and have used it almost every day since. It literally takes 10 to 15 minutes out of my day and has been instrumental in helping me change my perspective to being more present and grateful. Oh…and it also led to the second big lifestyle change.
2. Getting Up Early. As a teacher, my school day has started at 8:00 am for the last 24 years. Now, you might be thinking, “Most dedicated hard working people start their mornings at 8, big deal.” The difference is that my mornings start with helping welcome 500 middle schoolers into a building. Now I don’t necessarily welcome them all, but I welcome a lot of ‘em…and then try to entertain and teach them. It takes A LOT of energy. I used to get up around 6:30, shower, do the morning routine and head out to work around 7:15. Most days I felt rushed, but this habit allowed me to maximize my sleep. But Eric’s adamant advice with meditation and his belief about why it worked for him so well was his habit of waking up early and doing the meditation. “How early?” I asked. His response made me gulp, “5:00.” “In the morning?” I replied. I received yet another of those patented looks that screams stupidity. Boy, I thought, that is dedication. But I have trust in our friendship and knew he would steer me right. So, I started the process of waking every morning at five o’clock. You know what? Over time, I noticed how much more energy I had and how much happier I was greeting all those goofy-ass middle schoolers. Between waking up earlier and meditating, things changed for me…physically and mentally.
3. Stretching/Foam Rolling. As the first two things on this list really helped my mental wellness, I needed something in the new morning routine to address my physical well being. So, I started reading and exploring different ways to help with the aches and pains of aging. One thing I wanted to address was the stiffness I experience in my joints. Now I don’t know if I have normal stiffness for a guy my age, as I have nothing to compare it to. But most of the guys my age I talk to definitely experience what I do. A physical trainer friend of mine suggested foam rolling. And since I have done that, along with my chiropractor’s suggested stretches for my back, the changes are incredible. I imagine it’s a lot like the first time people from my dad’s generation saw a color tv for the first time after all those years of black and white. Not that the old experience was bad, necessarily, it’s just that the new one is just SO much better!!!
4. Sending a Good Morning Text. While the previous three habit changes have helped create a more pleasant lifestyle, this one brings me the most joy. I simply send a text to one person each day letting them know how grateful I am for their presence in my life. It isn’t long and doesn’t need to be wordy. I would never have thought of this on my own as an actual “habit.” But the impact of such a simple task is two-fold: first, it gives the recipient a jolt to their psyche because who doesn’t love to be thought of? Second, it makes me feel good to express happiness for others. There’s something contagious about spreading goodness and gratitude.

That’s it! Four habits that have led to a better lifestyle, allowing me to, more often than not, keep a more positive perspective, especially when the chips are down. Let’s face it, habits don’t happen over night and take a real commitment to make them an every day occurrence. And people are generally resistant to change.

But these four additions have literally helped me be a more present dad, husband, friend, son and teacher, enhancing my ability for each of the different hats I wear. 100% worth the effort and commitment to changing my ways.