How many times have you sat on the side of the river staring aimlessly into your fly box, contemplating what to tie on next? Unfortunately, after 30 plus years of fishing…too many to count.
Similarly, how many times have you needed someone but were unsure of which “contact” would be the most helpful? Again, too many to count.
I would argue a fisherman’s fly box is his most prized possession. For he may have the nicest reel, sweetest rod, and the best waders and boots money can buy; however, without the right fly, he ain’t catchin’ nothin’!
And in the “river of life” a person’s contact list is equally their most valuable asset in the “real world fly box.” A multiplicity of relationships is important; however, the deeper connected ones seem to be at the top of the list when things get tough…just like certain flies in the box.
I have multiple fly boxes full of flies I have tied or picked up in local shops along the way. Many of the flies were bought because I needed them at the time, and many others were bought simply because they looked cool; I have always been able to validate an unnecessary fly purchase with the age old wisdom of “You never know!”
But I have my “Go To” flies I depend on and seem to never let me down, no matter the conditions.
Friendships are similar.
A vast array of flies (hundreds if you’re worth your salt as a fisherman) make choosing the right fly or correct fly combination a daunting task. I am the king of deep conversations with myself, talking out loud to no one but the fish while standing in the middle of the river, trying to convince myself that, “Yes…use this one because it has the bead head AND legs! It looks buggier!”
As I think about how the importance of choosing the right fly is to a fisherman’s success on the water, I can’t help think about how much this process parallels choosing and creating the right friendships in real life, navigating your contact list much like your fly box:
- Matching Conditions: Just as you select flies that match the current water conditions, insect hatch, and fish behavior, you choose friends who match your personality, interests, and values. The right flies and friends fit well with the specific context and environment you’re currently in. Just like turning to a specific fly in a certain condition (the Wooly Bugger in spring when water levels are up), you turn to specific friends to help you through a specific problem you are experiencing at the moment.
- Adaptability: In fly fishing, you need to adapt your fly choice to changing conditions; a mid-morning hatch of catching trout feeding on top eventually peters out, and you are forced to rig up a double nymph rig while the afternoon brings warmer temps. Similarly, in the real world you need friends who can adapt to life’s changes and challenges with you. Both require flexibility and the ability to respond to new circumstances.
- Trial and Error: Finding the right fly often involves trying different options until you find one that works. We’ve all spent plenty of fishless hours on the river trying to “match the hatch” and been frustrated when we can’t. Making friends is similar; you may need to meet many people and build various relationships before finding true, lasting friendships. The same kind of patience is required.
- Quality Over Quantity: In fly fishing, a few well-chosen flies can be more effective than a box full of random ones; we all have our “go to” flies we are confident in and know will work in most circumstances. Or the one fly we always come back to when we need it. In friendship, a few genuine, supportive friends are often more valuable than a large number of acquaintances.
- Enjoyment and Fulfillment: Ultimately, the goal of choosing the right fly is to enjoy a successful and fulfilling fishing experience. Similarly, choosing the right friends is about creating a life filled with enjoyable and meaningful moments.
The fly box is the number one variable in helping me find success on the river. Friendships function the same way in my life. The ones I lean on during difficult times help me navigate those rough patches, most often times helping me come out better on the other side.
And some times when a fly is working so well, the fish destroy it, I come home, hit the tying table and build back my supply. I put in that effort. Similarly, I do the same for my friends: build them back up when they need it.
Either way, the effort one puts into their fly box and friendships always seems to pay off!
#ThisIsAboutFishing #ThisIsNotAboutFishing